What is your inner voice saying to you?

That little voice that gently urges you on and encourages you to keep going can sometimes come from the strangest of places!

 I started a walking challenge at the start of this second lockdown to help raise money for Galway Mountain Rescue Team, I love walking and being outdoors, so this would combine doing something for myself and helping others at the same time. I had virtually teamed up with some other participants from across the country, so we were there to support each other every day and we would get to see through our photos, the many places we each walked and a bit more of our beautiful countryside.

 I am not one to track my steps normally, but because of it being a challenge, I decided to use an app on my phone to record my walks. On my first day of walking, pressing the start button, it asked me to enter my distance target to be achieved that day which was 5KM, I suddenly felt a touch of anxiety about not being able to reach the daily targets and everyone would know about it! That little voice in my head that tries to halt my good intentions was fully in my awareness.

 We all have this voice when it comes to trying something new or challenging and it can stop us from experiencing new opportunities or reaching our goals. One of the first steps to eliminating self-judgement, is to recognise that the voice in your head never means you any harm. It may be the source of self-criticism, but that was never its intent. Believe it or not, it originally developed to help us feel emotionally safe and happy. It is trying to protect us. My inner voice was trying to stop me before I even got started - just in case I failed!

 It started to develop in me from a young age, believing that I was worthless and would amount to nothing. I was a people pleaser and constantly sought approval from others to validate myself as a good person. Worrying what other people thought of me was a clue to my past patterns and the nagging voice that told me “don’t try it, you will fail, and everyone will know you are worthless

I took a deep breath and told myself “Just take it one step at a time” this is a mantra that has been part of my life since I started practising mindfulness over 25 years ago to help me deal with severe anxiety and depression. I had learned to trust my intuitive voice, the voice that urges me to take a chance, put myself out there, to go for what I wanted to achieve, this is the voice I trust and believe, but sometimes the other little voice sneaks in and makes us aware of the little doubts we may have about ourselves.

 I took off smiling and reminded myself to be mindful whilst walking and take in the beauty of my surroundings. It was a beautiful fresh day, and the sun was shining. I got into a good stride and felt energised, then suddenly out of nowhere, I heard a voice saying “1km – well done only 4 kms to go”. I didn’t realise the app would speak to me, at first I was like “this will drive me cracked if She keeps telling me how far I have gone/to go”, but when she announced to me I was 2KM into my distance target, I shouted out loud “YES”!!!!!

 Suddenly I was getting excited about reaching the next kilometre, what time I did it in and how many kilocalories I had burned off, it was like a whole new world for me, strange as that may seem to those that have been tracking or monitoring their every step for years, I had just enjoyed the pleasure of walking.

 By the time I had reached home again, I reached my target distance and had gone an extra 1.74km as it was a loop walk that I had done for many years, but never realised the distance.

I shared my photos I had taken along the way and the image of my recorded steps and KMs done for that day with the other participants and they with me, we all congratulated each other on a great day of walking and got to enjoy the sights they enjoyed along their routes.

 As I reflected on this later in the day, I realised that the voice coming from the app was like the positive side of my inner voice, the voice that says “yes you can do this, go for it” and I felt very grateful for having it and used it every day of the challenge, I used to say out loud to her…”thank you for encouraging me

I know, I was really speaking to myself!

 We tend to knock ourselves down when we do not achieve the big things in life, but for me it was the achievement of the small things that led to me believing I could achieve the bigger things..

 If the voice in your head frequently tells you “you can’t do this”, try and come up with a visual image of yourself doing the challenge or reaching your goal. As you start to see yourself doing it, you will also start to realise the feelings associated with focusing your attention on something that feels great!

 Not only had I the voice in the app encouraging me, but I also had my virtual team to encourage me to keep going every day. Surround yourself with people who want you to achieve and their voices will also become part of your inner dialogue.

 Learn to me more aware of the inner voice, accept that it is there and have some compassion for all that it believes to be true for you in the past, in doing so you will give yourself the personal freedom to explore new aspects of yourself and the world. Listen to the voice that flows from your heart, it will always guide you in the right direction.

 “Every time you are tempted to react the same old way, ask yourself if you want to remain a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future” ~ Marcandangel

 

Sharon Fitzmaurice

Holistic Wellness Coach, Author & Podcaster

www.sharonfitzmauricemindfulness.com

 

 

 

 

 

Where is your happy place?

Along the winding paths of a country lane, the dawn just beginning to break, the birds starting their morning chorus, the world wakes up around me and I am present - not just in the world but in my body, my mind and my soul.

For each of us we may have a place that brings a sense of joy, peace or inner happiness, but it’s not just about the place, it’s about you. Allowing yourself space to be, to breathe deeply and to be truly yourself, this is your happy place.

So many people are searching for happiness that is portrayed by others on social media, remember most of us only post our happy days, there are few and far between that show you the other side of their lives, the days when they feel stressed, sad or lonely. We are only getting snippets of the lives of others and life can’t be defined by those images.

I love to see how other people are spending their days, but never compare my life to theirs personally or professionally, we are not living their lives and they are not living ours. As individuals we admire others when they do something that we would love to do and instead of feeling left behind, ask yourself “what is stopping me from doing this too?” When you see what others are doing, see it as inspiration to do something similar but in your own way. I for one get loads of ideas on places to visit from other people’s stories. I love finding a new adventure!

As the New Year approaches, I don’t set myself any unrealistic goals. To be alive and appreciate each day is the greatest goal we can have. As we do this, we start to feel more self-aware and in turn we progress onto doing what helps us feel good about ourselves. If we continue to dwell on what went wrong in the passing year, we get stuck in the negative attachments of the past. Let’s try and move on one step at a time.

It’s not about being better than you were last year, but simply allowing yourself to feel better in all that you do.

Ask yourself three simple questions

  • What activities do I most enjoy doing and how can I plan to do more of them in 2020?

  • If I had one dream that I could achieve in the coming year, what would it be?

  • What’s stopping me?

    By answering these questions it will help you identify where you can adjust your thoughts and focus on planning to bring about more of the positive aspects of what you want and love doing. This is the starting point

  • Identify

  • Focus

  • Plan

    There is no new you, only the you that wants to try something new. You are an accumulation of your thoughts, emotions and beliefs, when we understand this, we learn that every thought and feeling has an impact on our behaviours. Happiness is an inside job, I could be in the middle of a bog covered in muck and feel so much joy, not because of where I am, but for allowing myself time and space to be just me.

    Wherever you are, be present!

    Sharon Fitzmaurice

Let's make it a January to remember...for all the right reasons

Yes it is a new year and you are probably bombarded with ‘New Year, new you’ advertising and may feel as if you have to change in some way!? Try adding something instead.

Do what feels right for you. You are fabulous just the way you are and if you are feeling not so fabulous at the moment, just ask yourself what one thing you can do differently to make things a little better in your life. So for many of us we want to be healthier, so what does that entail? If you are continuously focusing on what you DON’T want in your life, you will get more of the same. Try changing your mindset around what you DO want in your life. For example : I want to be healthier this week/month/year so I going to add more walking or exercise to my daily routines. I want to clear out my system as I feel bloated or sluggish, so I will add more fresh foods to my daily meals. I want to learn more not just to help me in my work life, but to develop personally, so I am looking at some courses for the year ahead. I love learning and it keeps the brain active. Plus it is great to set yourself a challenge just for the fun of it.

January is just another month, but for some people they have always told themselves the same story that they ‘hate’ this month and it is a real ‘downer’ after the Christmas, it’s not, it’s just what you tell yourself that amplifies that feeling. Just look at each day as a brand new day, what can you do in each day to make it a little better? I went walking this morning with a friend and even though it was raining before we started off, we didn’t use it as an excuse not to go. We fill our minds and then our lives with excuses, which in turn block us from moving forward. If you hear yourself making an excuse today, ask yourself why you are stopping yourself?

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So I am giving you all a little challenge, I want you to find one new thing that you can do this week that will change the way you look at January. I am starting new classes and running workshops and retreats this month, so I have so much to look forward to, if you haven’t planned anything yet, maybe it is time to start looking at something that will give you a boost and time out for yourself. We have 24 hours in the day, use one of them for You! Don’t keep putting off living your life. It’s not about failing or succeeding, it is simply about trying. How would we ever know what anything is like if we never tried it?

Here are a few simple starting points, the more you achieve the simple steps in adding more positive change to your life, the easier it will be to take the next step in adding something a little more adventurous :-

Read a new book

Do 10 minutes stretching every morning

Eat more greens

Arrange to meet a friend for a chat

Arrange a date night with your other half

Go to the park with your kids

Bring your dog to the beach (I did that yesterday)

Empty out your wardrobe and recycle your clothes by giving to a charity shop

Join a new class and meet new people, this helps build your confidence and self-esteem

Plan ahead so you have something to work towards in your career, personal life and relationships

Go to bed a little earlier a few nights each week

Start meditating - it has been the greatest benefit to my life

Be gentle and more compassionate to yourself

Take it one step at a time

Whatever way you look at this month, try to remember that it is just another month. The choices you make today will reflect in your tomorrows.

Let me know what you are doing to add more to your life this month.

Have a wonderful January everyone.

Enjoy your journey

Love Sharon


Sharon Fitzmaurice is an Holistic Wellness Coach, Speaker and best selling Author based in Co. Galway. She works with clients through one to one Reiki & Hypnotherapy Sessions helping bring about positive change within their lives. She also teaches Reiki therapy so that others may use it for their own well-being and moving forward in their personal and professional lives. She regularly runs workshops on self-care, meditation, mindfulness along with weekend retreats to provide an environment to guide others on their journey of self-awareness and personal development. She has spoken at private and public events, sharing her story of overcoming adversity and helping others to awaken their potential.

Be real and true to yourself

Being real starts with you. 

No make up, no hair done and even a little zit on my chin!

No make up, no hair done and even a little zit on my chin!

I wanted my first blog of 2018 to be real. Like many of you, I too am guilty of showing the best side of myself on social media and in truth none of us look that good all the time, we all have to put in a little effort now and again. So today I have taken a photo of myself straight out of the shower showing the 'real' me without make up, hair done or dressed up to the nines. I didn't even smile for this photo!

In my book Someone please help me, so I did I wrote from my worst time in where I felt I needed everyone else's approval before I could accept  myself, that is because I did not believe in myself. I had no real self-worth, how did I find it? Well it doesn't come from taking fabulous photos of yourself and looking good, that is just for appearance sake, I needed to look within and see the beauty that lay within me and start to let it shine through every pore of my being. 

No matter what anyone looks like on the outside, there is always an internal struggle in some form. The greatest philosophers in the world have written about this through the ages, the acceptance of self is our greatest challenge but also our greatest opportunity for learning who we are and who we want to be.

We are now dominated by social media images and positive quotes that tell you to be happy and smiling all the time, that is not real. We don't wake up happy, we have to choose to be that way. Happiness stems from the thoughts and feelings in each moment, the appreciation of what is without judgement. This also includes the feelings of anger and sadness, accepting them and allowing yourself to feel these emotions as they arise. But would you take a photo of yourself when you are crying your eyes out or screaming your head off and post on social media!? NO, you certainly would not, care would anyone see the 'real' you!/. 

I smile as I type this as I have often cried and looked at myself in the mirror, not a pretty sight let me tell you, but it is the realest me I will ever see, it is the me that is vulnerable, expressive and allowing myself to be who I am in that moment. None of us are ever going to be perfect as there is no such thing. None of us are going to be happy and positive all the time, or if you pretend to be, you are not being real with yourself or the world. 

When I wake up each morning, I will take 5 minutes looking in the mirror and just breathe deeply whilst focusing not on the 'image' of myself but on the core of who I am.

If you can look into your own eyes, even the sleepy ones, and tell yourself you are loved and accepted, you are off to a great start everyday. Don't get caught up in the lives of other people, that is their life. They may inspire you, but allow your dreams and passion to explode into the world in the only way you can, your way. 

Being true to yourself never goes out of style. 

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are ~. e.e. cummings

 

Happy New Year

Love Sharon