Be real and true to yourself

Being real starts with you. 

No make up, no hair done and even a little zit on my chin!

I wanted my first blog of 2018 to be real. Like many of you, I too am guilty of showing the best side of myself on social media and in truth none of us look that good all the time, we all have to put in a little effort now and again. So today I have taken a photo of myself straight out of the shower showing the 'real' me without make up, hair done or dressed up to the nines. I didn't even smile for this photo!

In my book Someone please help me, so I did I wrote from my worst time in where I felt I needed everyone else's approval before I could accept  myself, that is because I did not believe in myself. I had no real self-worth, how did I find it? Well it doesn't come from taking fabulous photos of yourself and looking good, that is just for appearance sake, I needed to look within and see the beauty that lay within me and start to let it shine through every pore of my being. 

No matter what anyone looks like on the outside, there is always an internal struggle in some form. The greatest philosophers in the world have written about this through the ages, the acceptance of self is our greatest challenge but also our greatest opportunity for learning who we are and who we want to be.

We are now dominated by social media images and positive quotes that tell you to be happy and smiling all the time, that is not real. We don't wake up happy, we have to choose to be that way. Happiness stems from the thoughts and feelings in each moment, the appreciation of what is without judgement. This also includes the feelings of anger and sadness, accepting them and allowing yourself to feel these emotions as they arise. But would you take a photo of yourself when you are crying your eyes out or screaming your head off and post on social media!? NO, you certainly would not, care would anyone see the 'real' you!/. 

I smile as I type this as I have often cried and looked at myself in the mirror, not a pretty sight let me tell you, but it is the realest me I will ever see, it is the me that is vulnerable, expressive and allowing myself to be who I am in that moment. None of us are ever going to be perfect as there is no such thing. None of us are going to be happy and positive all the time, or if you pretend to be, you are not being real with yourself or the world. 

When I wake up each morning, I will take 5 minutes looking in the mirror and just breathe deeply whilst focusing not on the 'image' of myself but on the core of who I am.

If you can look into your own eyes, even the sleepy ones, and tell yourself you are loved and accepted, you are off to a great start everyday. Don't get caught up in the lives of other people, that is their life. They may inspire you, but allow your dreams and passion to explode into the world in the only way you can, your way. 

Being true to yourself never goes out of style. 

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are ~. e.e. cummings

Happy New Year

Love Sharon

Deepening your connection to Self & Spirit

Last weekend I had the privilege of taking my 15th group away on a weekend retreat to the beautiful Boghill Centre in Kilfenora in Co. Clare. Returning to the centre is like coming home for me, it is a place of warmth, comfort, peace and we are always welcomed with a warm embrace and nurtured by the surroundings and fabulous food all weekend. 

Our beautiful workshop space nestled in the trees 

The theme for the retreat was deepening your connection to self and spirit, a theme that I was inspired to create seeing the amount of people who attend my client clinics or meditation groups and workshops who seem to have lost a sense of connection not only to themselves, but also to their surroundings and that includes the people they share it with. This also includes myself. We believe we are deeply connected as we move through life as such a fast pace, but it is only when we stop and listen, do we realise how far removed we are from truly understanding all that we are thinking and feeling. When you become more self-aware, you start to realise that you are not truly connected at all. We may have lost our sense of purpose, unable to feel a passion for what we are doing and life just seems to carry us along with no feeling of us being the creators of our destinies. 

 I feel that we are being guided more and more to reconnecting to our true selves, who we are now and learning to accept the present moment without judgement and learning to change the things we do not like one step at a time. But first we must sit and listen to our inner voice and what it is trying to tell us. This weekend allowed space and time for myself and the group to do just that, through meditation, mindful practices and also support work in the group. 

When we allow ourselves to be immersed in the richness of the energy of any group, we start to open up and resonate with what others are feeling, it brings out so many feelings that when in a safe environment, that vulnerability is a strength in connection between our hearts and minds. Together we find solace in knowing that we are not alone in our fears and worries, our past traumas are familiar to others too, there is no shame in speaking your truth. In fact once you open up to your own truth, there is a freedom in energy that is palpable, others respond to you and a healing takes place that there are no words for, it is felt and seen by each person on a deeper level than ever before. Tears fall slowly down the cheeks, your breathing changes and you feel within the pit of your stomach a stirring that is rising to the surface, you are finally allowing yourself to break free from the restraints you had bound yourself to for far too long. It may have felt like you were keeping yourself safe and protecting yourself from what you most feared, but in fact you were only keeping it locked inside to grow bigger and stronger, believing that if you didn't look at it, feel it or understand it, it would just disappear. Only when we face our biggest fear, learn to befriend it and learn from it will be free of it. This is our truth, to reveal ourselves flaws and all, this is where our power lies in creating change within ourselves and others. When we truly connect to life, we connect to the wholeness of our spirit. 

Butterfly is my symbol for transformation

This is when the true transformation takes place. You may think that one weekend couldn't possible help anyone with a life filled with pain and hurt but I have seen the biggest changes to people's mindsets within one single session of deep connection to self. Sometimes we are unaware of what the root cause of our issues may be and with support, you can get to the bottom of anything, but it has to be a choice made by the individual in that they want to create a change in their own life as they know there is so much else they have to offer the world.  They want to be part of it, to live it and to feel that they are too valued and accepted for who they are. We all deserve this but first you must commit to giving yourself the space and time to do so. It is not just for people that consider themselves spiritual, it is for everyone, a longing within your heart that calls out from the depths of your soul that you are more than your pain and sorrows that are buried deep within the caverns of your heart. It is a heavy weight to carry all by yourself, so in sharing and supporting each other through the process, we find ways to understand and accept how it all feels right now, we are not our past, we don't live there anymore, we can't change anything, only how we respond to our memories of it now. We transform how we react to the thoughts and beliefs that we once believed as our truth,  we start to remember that we are more than our past and we can become whomever we choose to be, but that starts with the acceptance of who we are now. In time we will be able to come out of our past cocoons and start to gently spread our wings, to be seen for who we truly are and take flight beyond where we once believed we could never go, past our own limitations.

To me, connecting to self and others in the vital ingredient to our well being. This weekend like many of my weekends, I have seen people transform in front of my eyes, I have seen them grow into their own hearts and allow themselves to be filled with hope and joy, to believe that they are stronger than they believed and that no matter what challenges they face in life, they now realise they have the inner strength and courage to face it. Retreats are not just to get away from reality, but to understand what your reality is and find ways in which you learn to cope with the many daily struggles we all face. In doing so, you allow yourself time to reconnect to that deeper part of you that wants to break out into the world and be seen. 

I am deeply grateful for my journey and in sharing it with others, I have learned that I am growing stronger each and every day, in turn I am helping others to find their strength which allows us all to shine our light in this world. If you only do one thing for yourself each day, let it be the most important thing in taking time to connect to you, you are so worth it. Keep things simple and find peace even in the midst of chaos, smile and know that this too will pass. 

With love & blessings to you all

Sharon 

My next weekend retreat dates are in 2018 all to be held in the Boghill centre

February 23rd to 25th 

June 15th to 17th 

September 28th to 30th 

Love letters from your Soul

Do you remember as a child laying down upon the grass and looking up at the sky? In your mind  you just allowed images to float into your mind as you smiled at the many creations you could make out of a white fluffy shape far off in the distance. The many dreams you woke from seeing yourself taking part in the greatest of adventures and travelling foreign lands meeting people from different cultures as you were the greatest explorer?

You may think these were the whimsical ramblings of your childhood, but from these early years, you were forming a belief in your mind that everything was possible and that some day you would grow up and achieve all those  magnificent dreams. So what changed?

Some may say 'life' happened and that your circumstances along the way altered your dreams and stopped you in your tracks, then there are others that say "I am living my dreams", what makes us so different?

Most of us take on life with many dreams and ambitions but may have got caught up with other responsibilities along the way and now feel that we are no longer the great adventurer, but a great provider or protector.

But do you know who you are right now, have you taken the time to ask yourself one simple question, who am I, what do I want?

I know on the days that I get a little overwhelmed by 'all I have to do' that I get lost in that monkey chatter in my head and lose sight of what is really important. When we allow ourselves to lose sight of our true passion we start to resent the things we 'have' to do as we are not putting any real focus on what we 'want' to do.

So my little exercise for mind, body and soul every day is to simply sit for a few minutes and take out a pen and paper and write one question that I need to ask myself for the answer, believe me no one else can give you the answer you really seek, only you!

You may not get the answer you wanted, but then again we more than likely never do, but our soul knows exactly what is right for us and will guide that idea or inspiration into our hearts and minds, if we allow it.

Throughout the day, be mindful of the question you asked earlier on and had written down and simply go about your day, you will start to become aware of the thoughts and feelings that come into your conscious mind as you have opened up a doorway to receive guidance, write down any thoughts or ideas and let them flow. You will be absolutely amazed and all the things you have written by the end of the day. 

Then when you have loads of ideas, look at each one and decide to put one or all of them into action, it just takes a decision in your  mind, the intention to create or make it happen and you are already half way there. 

The problem is most of you will have loads of ideas and just allow them to flow out into the Ether, wondering why nothing is changing in your life. I know, I have been there! 

Everyday set aside five minutes, take out a pen and paper. Write a question you would like an answer to and start to write every idea or thought that you feel relates to it. You can still create the life you want each and every day, it doesn't have to happen immediately, but by taking your power back and allowing yourself to dream mindfully can be a wonderful experience in you opening your world up to new and exciting opportunities.

Let me know how you get on, I would love to hear all your amazing ideas 

Love Sharon 

Reflecting on change - Retreat

This past weekend I spent another wonderful retreat weekend with people from all over Ireland and the Uk,  in The Boghill Centre  . Every time I arrive to the centre in the beautiful rural setting of Kilfenora, Co. Clare, I am embraced by the peace and welcoming natural beauty of its surroundings. This is my home away from home for two weekends every year and I get to share it with the most amazing people each time. 

The theme of the retreat this month was Transforming with Spirit, it is not about changing who you are, but gently and compassionately acknowledging, accepting and loving yourself for who you are right now. It is changing the way you see yourself and how you feel about you from this moment on. It was a deeply emotional and life changing weekend for many of us including me. 

Many of the retreat participants were new to our little weekend getaway, but there were many familiar faces that have returned for the 4th and 5th time to further acknowledge where they are on their journey in life and to reconnect with themselves and a beautiful network of unconditional support and love from the group and from their new friends. It is amazing to see the bonds that are made on a soul level between people on the retreat, it is like we are stripped back of all ego, masks and pretense. We open our hearts to each other to reveal a beautiful but sometimes vulnerable side to ourselves that we are unable to do until now.

On this retreat I was joined by fellow Spiritual Medium Teachers Bronia West  & Wayne McHugh who shared so much of their beautiful energy with us all in imparting their learned skills from years of experience in helping others to connect on a deeper level to themselves and to Spirit. It was a such a joy to work in the energy of these two amazing people. In the evening we invited Bev Shiplee up to join them for an evening of Mediumship, beautiful messages of love, forgiveness and support were channelled from Spirit to the groups. There were even a few surprise guests invited to debut their abilities. Amazing to watch the courage shining through when we just allow ourselves to stand in our power. 

This was my 13th group to bring on retreat and each time is completely different. I know I am guided in my work and no matter what the plan in my head is, I have to just go with my heart. The flow of the retreat is all depending on the energy of the group and I always go with that. I know that with each exercise we partake in we are deepening our love and understanding to ourselves and the world. I truly believe that there are miracles occurring right in front of us everyday and sometimes we just need to stop and accept them, but first we must accept ourselves.

I felt deeply grateful to lead this retreat with so many amazing and talented people all waiting to shine their light even brighter. I was honoured on the Sunday closing ceremony by each person with a thank you from their heart and a special message from each, I felt it very deeply and it moved my soul into a new state of gratitude for life and for learning. 

We are all learning and growing, no matter who we are, where we are in our journey, we have so much more to experience. And whilst doing so you can have loads of fun along the way, well in our retreats we certainly know how to throw an after party.

Love to all. 

Our September retreat is nearly fully booked, so I may have a surprise retreat in May 26th to 28th, please let me know if you are interested. 

Looking for Love?

I am sure like most people in the world, you too have loved someone but didn't receive the same love back. Why?

Sometimes the  love we seek from another is only to fill the gap within ourselves. We have all fallen head over heels in love or so we thought at the time, with someone that was truly not good for us. Agree?

We can not make anyone love us! Yes you are adorable, cute and funny, but that does not mean that everyone you are attracted to is going to feel the same way about you. We sometimes feel a connection with a certain person, but it may not mean that you are going to live happily ever after, no if might just simply be that you have connected with someone who is showing you at this moment in time, what you are really lacking in your own life and are looking for someone else to fill that need.

I hear you laughing, yes some of you just would like to have more sex! And more of you want a long lasting committed relationship, but are you going to sacrifice your soul to be with someone that truly does not love and respect you the way you deserve? NO of course you are not.

So how do we help ourselves? Well firstly, when we are lacking in love, it does not mean that another person will make you feel whole. We may believe it in our minds, but truly our heart is looking to feel self-love and self-belief in ourselves.  Start by looking at what you really want (apart from the sex and someone to be by your side until eternity) in your life.

Are you meeting all the same kind of people and none of them are really what you are looking for, but because you don't feel like you have a choice, you keep reverting back to your ex or to the person that messages you at the end of the night? Don't feel bad, lots of people do it too. But think about the kind of person you really want in your life. Think of the attributes of this person, how you would like to feel when you are with them or even not with them. Allow yourself to feel safe, respected, loved, cherished and also to grow as an individual, just because you are with someone, does not mean you need to spend your time with them or thinking of them 24 hours of the day. If we continue to go back and do the same things over and over again, nothing will ever change. 

True love is a mutual respect of two people who allow each other to be themselves whole heartedly. Yes there is compromise when we commit to each other in any relationship, but it is a deep mutual respect for our dreams, lives and passions. If we allow ourselves to be more open about the people we want in our lives, friends or lovers, we start to open our hearts to the people that are attracted to that positive energy.

If you only believe that you will get the people who hurt or reject you, then that is all you will get. You are worth so much more than that, but you must first believe in yourself.

Start each day with a positive mindset, forget about the people that have hurt you in the past and let it go. You are not your past and there is no pattern to your relationships, you can change right now.  Your ex is an ex for a reason! We learn from the people we have shared our past with and we accept responsibility for our own actions. We acknowledge that that person came into our lives for a reason and we allowed them to treat us a certain way, but we have moved on from there and are now facing each day with a new positive attitude.

So go out and be yourself, the next time you meet someone and feel a connection, it may not be the love affair of the century, but at least you are meeting people and sharing your amazing self with them, how far you want to share is up to you :-) 

Have fun :-)

BTW I have found LOVE! How did I know it was real love? I didn't, I just knew how I felt and how I was being treated. When someone loves you enough to believe in you more that you believe in yourself, they want the best for you. They will encourage you to be your best self. Of course we have arguments and sometimes he drives me crazy, but most of the time, I have a big smile on my face. He sees me for who I really am and that is okay, sometimes I can't really see myself, so it is lovely to have someone who reminds me that I am special.

Love Sharon 

You are all THAT!

Do you spend most of your time telling yourself all that you are not?

Believe it or not the average person has 70,000 thoughts a minute and most of them are negative or they are unaware of what they are actually thinking about.

So how can we help to change this pattern?

By changing our pattern of thoughts and self-talk, we can become more aware of what we want to be and start to programme our subconscious mind with the belief that we are everything we want to be.. The subconscious mind does not know the difference between reality and illusion, so whatever you feed it, it takes as fact! 

Some people are great at visualising themselves leading the life of their dreams and others need a little bit more work at it, so to help you get started, here is a little mantra to help you on your way to being all that.

I AM THAT, I AM

I Am that I Am is the common English translation of the response God used in the Bible when Moses asked for his name.

Transforming Negatives - When we put negatives after I AM as 'I am broke', 'I am not worthy', 'I am a failure', it creates limitations. Instead you could affirm 'I AM powerful', 'I am abundant' and you will automatically be filled with enormous capacity for transformation

 So take out a pen and paper and write I AM THAT, I AM at the top

What do you want THAT to mean for you? Under the word THAT, write down all the things you want it to hold for you, so that everytime you say I AM THAT I AM, you are empowering yourself with all the qualities and positive attributes THAT holds for you.

What is it you most want to be in your life?

For example THAT could be 'happy, confident, positive, abundant, living my dreams, working in my ideal job, in the most loving relationship, respected by my peers, open to new opportunities and the list goes on and on. Do you get the idea?

So once you have written down everything and I mean everything that you want to be held in the energy of THAT,  every time you say the mantra I AM THAT I AM, you are embedding the thoughts and energy of the belief that you are already all that.

So get writing and you can add to it as often as you like as long as you remember to focus your intention on all being held in THAT as you repeat your mantra I AM THAT, I AM

Love Sharon