There are moments in life that divide everything into before and after. Moments that arrive uninvited, unplanned, and utterly life-altering. My recent conversation with Julie Wright Halbert on my podcast was a powerful exploration of one such moment—and what it means to truly live in its wake.
Julie is a death doula, end-of-life educator, and a deeply compassionate voice in the space of grief literacy. Her work is not theoretical - it is lived. When her husband Tim passed away just three weeks after a cancer diagnosis, her world shifted overnight. The future they had imagined together disappeared, leaving Julie and her two sons to navigate a landscape of profound loss.
What struck me most in our conversation was not just Julie’s pain - because grief, in its rawest form, is something we all recognise - but her journey into presence. She spoke openly about despair, anger, and the deep ache that accompanies loss. And then, something shifted.
There came a moment - not of forgetting, but of allowing.
Allowing life to be as it now is.
Allowing love to still exist, even in absence.
Allowing the possibility that connection does not end with physical death.
As Julie softened into this acceptance, she began to feel something many who grieve quietly come to understand: love doesn’t disappear - it transforms. She described sensing Tim’s presence spiritually, not as something imagined, but as something felt more clearly the more she allowed love back into her life.
The Many Faces of Grief
Grief is not a single experience. It does not follow a straight line, nor does it arrive only when someone dies.
For me, grief began long before I experienced physical loss. It lived in the quiet mourning of a childhood that wasn’t safe or carefree. It showed up as hypervigilance, as a nervous system always on alert, as a longing for something I never had.
And then, when my older sister Bonnie passed away, grief took on a different form entirely.
It moved from the mind into the body.
The ache.
The longing.
The questions that will never be answered.
There is something uniquely disorienting about losing someone you love deeply. It leaves a space that cannot be filled, only honoured. And over time, like Julie, I came to understand that while the physical presence is gone, the love remains - woven into memory, into who we are, into the quiet moments where we feel them close.
Living Awake, Even in Loss
One of the most powerful themes Julie and I explored was what it means to live - and die - awake.
To live awake is not to avoid pain.
It is to meet life fully, even when it breaks your heart.
It is choosing presence over resistance.
Meaning over avoidance.
Connection over numbness.
Grief, as painful as it is, can become a teacher. Not one we would ever choose—but one that, if we allow it, can deepen our capacity to love, to appreciate, and to truly inhabit our lives.
The pivot Julie speaks of - the one she never chose - is something many of us will face in different forms. And yet, within that unwanted turning point lies an invitation: to soften, to awaken, and to begin again, differently.
What a Death Doula Teaches Us About Living
Julie’s work as a death doula beautifully highlights something our modern world often forgets: dying is not just a medical event - it is a deeply human, relational, and spiritual experience.
Death doulas help fill the gaps that medicine cannot. They offer presence, guidance, and compassion. They remind us that dignity, connection, and meaning matter right up until the final breath.
But perhaps more importantly, they remind us how to live.
To have the conversations we avoid.
To express love while we still can.
To be present in the moments that make up our lives.
Gentle Ways to Support Yourself Through Grief
Grief asks a lot of us. It asks us to feel what we would rather avoid, to sit with what cannot be fixed. And yet, there are ways to support yourself with compassion as you move through it:
1. Allow Your Experience to Be Valid
There is no “right” way to grieve. Your experience whether it’s anger, numbness, sadness, or even moments of peace - is valid.
2. Let the Body Speak
Grief lives in the body. Gentle movement, breathwork, or simply placing a hand on your heart can help you stay connected to yourself when emotions feel overwhelming.
3. Create Space for Remembrance
Light a candle, look at photographs, speak their name. Keeping a connection with your loved one can be deeply healing.
4. Soften the Urge to “Move On”
Grief is not something to get over. It is something you learn to carry, in a way that becomes lighter over time.
5. Let Love Be the Anchor
When the pain feels too much, gently bring your awareness back to love. Because beneath the grief, that is what remains.
An Invitation
If this speaks to something within you - whether you are navigating loss, supporting someone who is, or simply wanting to live more consciously - I invite you to listen to my full conversation with Julie Wright Halbert on my podcast.
It is a deeply human, heartfelt exploration of grief, presence, and what it means to live and die awake.
About Sharon Fitzmaurice
Sharon Fitzmaurice is a Holistic Wellness Coach, Reiki Master Teacher and Practitioner, Clinical Hypnotherapist, and host of The Sharon Fitzmaurice Podcast, where she explores the resilience of the human spirit.
She is the author of Someone Please Help Me, So I Did and Awaken Your Wellbeing, and a passionate advocate for mental health awareness and survivors of childhood trauma. Through her work, Sharon supports others in reconnecting with their inner strength, healing past wounds, and creating a life rooted in authenticity, compassion, and wellbeing.
If you feel called, take a moment today to pause, breathe, and gently ask yourself:
Am I living awake?
Because even in the presence of grief - perhaps especially there - life is still inviting you to be fully here.
