Self praise is no praise?

Is this old saying true, or is it something we were taught to keep us from feeling really good about ourselves? We have all heard this and many other sayings like “don’t get too big for your boots”, but I believe that if we don’t praise ourselves on a daily basis, we may be waiting a long time for someone else to do it.

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A letter to let go

I am a great believer in writing about how you feel, on seeing it on paper, it takes the mystery out of your feelings and you can really tune into your emotions and let it go. So today my thoughts were of my Sister Bonnie who was physically and mentally disabled at birth, but we were blessed to have her in our lives for 28 years, this is my letter to her today.

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Life is like a bicycle ride

Today I had a wonderful client who like most of us has gone or is going through a struggle in their lives, as we spoke and I felt the energy of what She holds true in her heart, I seen a lovely vision in my mind. Life is truly like a bicycle ride, sometimes we are cycling along enjoying the view, it may rain while we are half way to our destination, the tyre may become flat or the chain might come off. Your first thought is one of frustration as you wonder “why me, why now!?”, but isn’t that the way life truly is for most of us!?

No matter who we are or where we are in our lives, we will all find ourselves moving along and enjoying what we are blessed with, as we come upon any situation that blocks our view of the loveliness in or around us, we want to push it away immediately and get back to feeling safe and secure.

Life is about learning lessons, as on your bicycle ride, you may fall off and graze your knee, but it doesn’t stop you from cycling ever again, you are just a little bit more careful the next time you go out on the bike. You are more aware and observant of what is on your path, the same applies to your life.

As you set out on each day, you have a goal of what you want to do, where you want to go and what you want to achieve, as we all know, life manages to throw many interruptions into our days and we sometimes get side-tracked. This is not always a bad thing, if we stay on course with only the expectations of our mind, we may be limiting ourselves. Imagine if you will, you are on a bike ride and your tyre gets a puncture, you have to veer off the path and look for someone to help you. As you search along a new path, you come upon an area of beauty that you had never seen before and it lifts your Spirits, then a stranger stops along the way to help, whilst helping you they tell you a bit about their life. As you continue sharing your stories of woe and delight to this passing stranger, you realise that you have made a new connection, one that may develop into something positive or one that you have learned that as human beings it is in our nature to help one another, thus restoring your faith in others. You come away from that experience only to realise that if none of this happened you wouldn’t have found a new place to visit or met someone new that connected to you in a loving and helpful way. That doesn’t sound too bad does it?

So in life if you are going about your business and you find yourself in a stressful situation, does that mean you stop moving forward and stay where you are? NO! It means you keep on moving, delighting in all the positives you find along the way and acknowledging that sometimes it is okay to have a challenge or a struggle in your life. Even if it pours down with stress, it is just for that moment, it won’t last forever, just like a bike ride in the rain, you use an umbrella only when it rains!

As children we learn how to balance on a bicycle and if we keep on pedalling we will go more places, we must remember this as adults, to try and keep a balance in all areas of our lives and even if the road gets a little bumpy, if we stop for a minute to compose ourselves, look for a new direction, keep moving forward, we will always enjoy the ride, even if it takes us just a little bit longer to get there.

What other people think of you is none of your business

“Life is too short to worry about what others say or think about you, have fun and give them something to talk about”

I saw this quote the other day and thought it was fabulous! One of my favourite sayings is “what other people think about you is none of your business!” But of course as is human nature, we do need approval and reassurance from others and if we don’t get it, we then worry that others are criticising us or worse still, they won’t like us for who we are!!!!! So instead of ‘thinking’ too much about what everyone else thinks, start to focus on you. What would you like to other people to actually be saying about you behind your back? What you believe others are saying about you, is what you are actually saying to yourself constantly. We don’t need anyone else to say a word, as we are sometimes our own worst critics. So let’s start a new conversation, every day when you wake up, stretch out your arms, jump out of bed and tell yourself it is going to be a great day. When you look into the mirror, don’t go ‘oh God’ and sneer at yourself, instead look into your eyes and say “Good Morning Beautiful”, compliment yourself, share positive words with yourself, even if it is silently in your mind, but don’t let the negative little comments creep in. The first person you meet in themorning whether it be in your home, on the street or in work, give them a smile and a big ‘Good Morning’, the more positive you are the more it will spread to everyone you meet, positivity is highly contagious ( as is negativity) so let’s get smiling. Okay so you may face a big challenge during the day and find it hard to keep smiling and being positive, but instead of reacting like a crazy person, this time you will take a breath, imagine you are standing outside of yourself and realise that this problem isn’t as big as you normally make it out to be, you are outside of it for now and can respond in a different way, so what do you do? Is it easier to react the way you normally do or can you change just a little bit for today, the more you stand back a little, the more you will find yourself responding in a more calm and not judgemental way. So now everyone is starting to notice you and how calm you are, how every time they see you, you are smiling! The start to notice you are much happier in yourself and it shows in the way you hold yourself, the way your walk and talk. People are starting to notice the positive qualities in you and not the negative ones! Why? Because you started the whole process. Remember everything starts with ourselves, if you want a change, you must be the change. So let’s get people talking about how fabulous you are, come on you can do it!